Archive for the ‘Discussion’ Category

Chatting to a friend of mine the other day, I asked her about an old friend of ours  (well, ex- friend more like it) to find out what she was up to and how she was doing, and my friend continued to fill me in.

My friend also mentioned just how mean and nasty she had been to another friend of ours and in some way justified her behaviour by feeling sorry for her.  My friend talked of how she had been raised and how difficult life had been her as a child and thus giving me all the reasons why she had pity for this person and still in a way continued to keep the friendship alive.  As I sat there listening to all the reasons why, it dawned on me, and I said to her “but hang on a moment, we all had difficult lives, in fact most of us come from seriously dysfunctional families and you don’t see us behaving and treating others in such a nasty way”.  The very friend who was telling me this story had by far a worse deal in life than the friend who was being allowed to get away with being mean, nasty and destroying people’s lives.

I know of people in my life who have been dumped at a home for orphans because their parents did not want them.  Friends whose parents were alcoholics and who received abuse physically and verbally, and yet they are the nicest people to have in your life.  I too have had verbal and physical abuse and I don’t go around being nasty or mean to others.

So what does this tell me? It tells me that we all have a choice; we can choose to change, grow and make the most of what has happened to us and be the best we can be and use those experiences to our advantage or – we can keep the bitterness, hatred and chip on our shoulder and continue the vicious cycle and take it out on the people around us.  But, honestly, if you do this, don’t expect people to care about you, stop wondering why you are losing friends and stop wondering why you are alone, because you only have yourself to blame for your actions.

I read somewhere that you allow people to treat you the way you want to be treated.  What a true statement.  If you are being abused at work by certain people, it is because you are allowing them to be that way with you.  If someone at home is being abusive to you, you are allowing it to happen.

I have no mercy anymore for people who destroy other people’s lives.  It may sound selfish, but with all the knowledge and all the help there is out there, why should we still continue to tolerate other people’s abusive behaviour.  My personal choice is no, I don’t want to, I’ve had enough.  Yes, there are times when we all have a blow out and lose our cool, it may not be right, but it does not make us a bad person or a mean person,. I’m talking about people who continually go about destroying the lives of others and don’t get help or do anything to improve their behaviour and most of us find excuses why they should be allowed to abuse and cause havoc.   I think it is time to stop and take a stand and say NO, we will no longer tolerate your behaviour.

“Your super subconscious mind attracts into your life people, ideas and resources in harmony with your dominant thoughts. It brings you everything you need to succeed.” Flight Plan by Brian Tracy.

It is so easy to allow our minds to fall into the trap of negativity when someone upsets or hurts us or if something goes wrong.   It seems really difficult to get out of this state of mind or to push yourself to shift your mind into a happy place.  The hurt or pain that sets in feels like a strong force  your whole mind, body and soul feels heavy.

The key is shifting our focus on what we do want, what we want to achieve and taking it day by day. Decide now, what your most important goal is? If you could miraculously change one thing today, what would that be? This would be your right now goal. Keep this goal as your dominant thought and point of focus. Make a list of things that you would need to do to help you achieve this goal and each day do something from that list that will take you one step closer to achieving that goal.

Romany Thresher

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