Running Away
April 20th, 2010 | 
Author: I have a friend’s whose solution to everything is run, run away from the situation,
- run away from the problem at hand,
- ran away rather than dealing with hurting another person,
- run away before they themselves get hurt,
- run away because you are feeling insecure,
- run away because of something that was said and done
- Just run, run, run
It is easier to pick up and run than to deal with the emotions. The only reason my friend has not run away from me is because I won’t let them.
So why do you run? Is it because you are afraid of being hurt?
Besides burning bridges, people who run away from others leave behind a trail of hurt, damage and disruption and in many instances with things unresolved and people wondering “what if”, “what happened,” “what did I do” and “what can I do to fix it”?
Coming from a place where I have a step family who I don’t know very well apart from one or two of them and pretty much a place of which my family only consists of my mom and my husband I can see the true value in relationships. I’ve made it my mission in life to build good solid friendships which I can count and depend upon.
What I find fascinating with people who keep running away is how they don’t realise what they are doing to themselves and the people they run away from.
Perhaps the truth is, if you dig deep inside, the relationship you are running away from could possibly not mean all that much to you otherwise you would’ve stuck around to work things out. So which is it? if that relationship is meaningless then the person you are running from is better off without you.
I’ve been married for 17 years now and in the beginning, well I would say 2 years into our marriage we had some real challenges to a point where we almost got divorced 3 times. I was rather messed up when my husband found me. Gosh I’m sure if he knew what he was getting himself into he would’ve run too, but no he did not, he stuck by me. He taught me how to love. He helped me heal the damage that was done. He helped me to rebuild myself and all because he stuck by me. All because he showed me he cared. There were times when he himself got frustrated and wanted to run and did a few times but both of learnt great lessons during these times and it was these times that we learnt the true value of our relationship and the value we have to each other.
True relationships come from working together, helping each other, getting through the rough patches and learning to understand the other person. Just because you have a misunderstanding, or a tiff or the person was mean to you, is that enough reason to run?
We all have our bundles of baggage the come with us when we meet someone new. The challenge is how to work with our baggage and the baggage of the other person. The challenge is to accept that things may go wrong and that you may not even get on for a while. The challenge is you have got to stick it out and work at it.
There is no greater feeling than to know someone loves you and that someone actually cares about you. There is no greater feeling to know you have people you can count on in your time of need.
A job can be lost tomorrow, money can disappear in an instant but the value of true friends and family never go away unless you choose it to. Yes there are times when some friends or family can do more harm than good, then it is time to walk away but before you do really analyse whether walking away is the right thing to do.
How do you feel about people who run from their problems?
Do you run from things, if so, why?
Posted in 2 Responses to “Running Away”
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I can think of two occasions in my life when I have run away. Both were in part for self preservation, but perhaps they weren’t. Both times aggressive men were involved.
The first was a neighbour who I thought was a friend. He and his wife set up a situation so that when I said something, he was standing outside our house at midnight ranting at us until we let him in to our home so that he could rant some more until he felt better. For various reasons he made both of us feel very unsafe. The magic of remaining in the city where we lived was broken and I joined Jenny in knowing that it was time to move on. This turned out to be a very positive move in deed. So perhaps this was the universe helping us to make a positive change in our life.
The second was a friend who when he had an argument with his girlfriend would phone us and accuse us of doing or saying things that we had not done. He would have a go at us until he felt better. Needless to say I did not feel better after his phone call. Yes I had known him for a long time but I was not the same person that I was when we first met. I took the decision not to remain a close friend with him anymore.
I have made a decision to be a positive person and part of that includes surrounding myself as far as possible with positive people. Obviously you cannot be positive all the time and things happen that upset us. People who have had troubles have often said that I am a good listener. You can decide to be a positive person or a ‘grumpy old man (or woman)’ this is a life style choice. It is not the inevitable result of a few more birthdays. You can choose how to respond to situations and on 2 occasions I chose to walk away. I feel that these choices improved my life.
Thanks Mark, yes I must say there are a few times where I have also chosen to walk away and it was definately the best decision. There are people who you just don’t need in your life and not because they are a bad person, it is just a case that you don’t fit well together. We all have different chemistry, like a puzzle, each piece has it’s place. You will try to fit in with some but the pieces just don’t work.
Romany