“You racist bastard,” “Dumb ass think before you say something you monkey,”
“Your lame ass retorts are weak”, “You’re pmsing pretty bad aye? Shove that tampon up a little too far did you?” “Wow, holy shit , That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve read this week; congratulations, ignorant twat!” “Fuck right off with your bullshit you dick.”
As an online presence specialist part of my job is to observe the conversations that people have online on all sorts of topics. I read the comment threads to see what people say and why they say what they say and do the things they do. A large part of the work I do for people is figuring out how to connect people together in a way that they can be of benefit to each other.
In a public group on Facebook someone posted a video and asked for comments. This type of post will get plenty of comments and very mixed comments from “how beautiful” to the opposite end of “dreadful, don’t give up your day job”. What I’ve also observed with these type of posts is how people begin to attack one another because they have erroneously interpreted something through filtered lenses and have become offended. It always starts with one person who begins name calling because they don’t agree with a point of view or because they got offended. Then it normally spirals out of control because then everyone else jumps on the bandwagon to join in the name calling without reading the thread or even reading the article or watching the video.
This type of brutal commenting goes on in many groups and communities on social media. You must see what people say on YouTube, it’s embarrassing. It seems to be common practice these days online for people to take out their hurts, their fears, their anger and their frustrations out on strangers without thinking about the consequence.
There are two things I’d like you to consider being a business owner, a coach, a consultant or someone pursuing a chosen career.
What first impression are you creating online to strangers?
You have less than 2 to 4 seconds to make a good first impression. What impression are you leaving? It does not matter what the other person has said or not said this is about YOU and the impressions YOU are leaving in someone’s mind that forms part of your brand identity. The people who are watching and reading your posts and comments are forming opinions of you based on what they see which can influence their buying decisions or decisions to connect with you.
It sickens me when I see how nasty people are to each other online and I personally would not want to engage with people who behave in this way online because I’d hate them to treat me that way.
There are thousands if not millions of people who are reading your comments and your posts, making judgements without you knowing about it. These people could potentially be your next employers, your next customers, your next big break! What about your dreams? What if you wanted to do something that really matters and the only person who could give you that opportunity just happens to stumble on your post, read it, sees the name calling and finger pointing? Be consciously aware of what you say and how you say it because you just don’t know who is reading your stuff.
What you say online has an impact on you and it has an impact on the other person.
We have all experienced hurt in our lives. We all know what it feels like to be bullied, to be abused, to be rejected. We know how it hurts when people are nasty to us. We know what it feels like when people attack us with hurtful words. It penetrates the heart.
I know I wasn’t a very nice person at one stage of my life. I was bullied at school. Children called me names, made fun of me and humiliated me. I was and still am a very sensitive person. As a child I would cry at everything and anything and especially when other kids started with me. I struggled to stand up for myself when people tried to force their beliefs on to me and I also struggled when people wanted me to do what they wanted me to do even if I did not agree. I had to get stronger in order to survive because the pain was too much for me to bear. I ended up shouting and screaming at people because I felt like no one was listening to me. I had to be hard and aggressive so no one could see the tears that were about to burst. As a woman I was discriminated against because in my time it was very different for women. I had to deal with men who don’t see you for your intellect but see you as a sex object.
I struggled to communicate properly and so I offended people and drove people away. I would attack people with brutal honesty and would use words to hurt the other person to get my point across so they could also feel how they were hurting me. I was trying desperately to be heard but not going about it in the right way.
Back in the day attending Bible school a teacher I highly respected spoke on judgement and judging others. When we name call or use hurtful words to describe someone, it is a form of judging another person – and therefore something that God considers a sin. Calling someone a whore, stupid, idiot, , monkey, worthless, racist, bitch, bastard, etc. is attacking their character which can cause severe lifetime damage. Not only that YOU are also impacted because of the energy that manifests in that moment. As you speak and say those words you are manifesting something which can bite you in the ass later on leave you with regret. That’s why it’s a sin. It makes sense to me today because it affects all parties involved physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Why is it necessary for you to say things like this? What is the gain? Does it make you feel good? It makes you feel good and satisfied for the moment but what about tomorrow, next month or next year?
What about the person you are saying these things to and especially if you are responding to a stranger online that you’ve never met? We have all been on the giving and receiving end of words that are harmful. Words are like bullets and have the ability to kill. Would you be happy to live with the consequences? What if you caused someone’s death because of what you posted online? Could you live with that?