Scammed – Whose Fault Is It?

Being scammed is a gut-wrenching experience. It cuts deep because, for many of us, that money represents more than just numbers in a bank account. It’s the result of hard work, late nights, sacrifices, and dreams of something better. And when it’s taken—or wasted by someone who wasn’t trustworthy or equipped to deliver—it leaves a sting that doesn’t fade easily.

I know the feeling all too well. Each time I got scammed—and there were many—I was filled with anger. Anger at the person who betrayed my trust, and frustration at myself for believing them. I trusted they’d honor their side of the deal. Instead, I was left picking up the pieces.

It wasn’t just the money that hurt. It was the ripple effect—financial stress, sleepless nights, and the exhausting weight of frustration. Trying to recover what you’ve lost is often futile, and so many of us eventually let it go. Not because we’re okay with it, but because holding on to the anger, the regret, and the “what-ifs” drains your energy and keeps you stuck in the past. Letting go is the only way to keep moving forward.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Losing money,
being betrayed by someone you trusted—
it’s a hard pill to swallow.

When I reflected back on my own experiences, I realised the cost of being scammed wasn’t just financial. It took a toll on my time, my energy, and my well-being which impacted my physical health. The resentment and bitterness I carried afterward were like chains, weighing me down. Those feelings of resentment and bitterness they are heavy demons to live with, and the longer you allow them to hang around, the harder your life can become. If you have experienced this, take a few moments to experience that experience so that you can see, it feel it, taste it, and know what it looks like. This is how you beat the enemy, so that it doesn’t happen again.

The worst scam I ever faced left me in a dark place. The losses were unrecoverable, and the damage was permanent. I remember being so angry and hurt by what these people had done to me, the ripple effect it had. I was so angry, resentful and bitter, I could feel the chemicals in my body change as I was allowing the scammer to have power over me energetically now also. I tried everything to get back what I had lost. The longer I stewed on the whole event, and allowed the anger, resentment and hatred to step in, the sicker I became that I was vomiting. I had to let go. It was hard.

Having to start all over again, lost what I had worked so hard for, I stumbled on an article about the Rothchild’s and while reading this article which was about their family fortune and how they obtained their wealth, I realised that I was at fault. I allowed myself to be scammed because I was ill equipped, and not only that, even worse, I trusted blindly… I trusted the word of mouth friend, who also didn’t know much about much.

Looking back, here’s what I got wrong:

• I didn’t set boundaries. I was too relaxed when it came to checking agreements and not checking who I was getting into bed with.
• I didn’t do my research or ask the right questions. I failed to research the people behind the project/venture. I didn’t check their credentials thoroughly. I didn’t ask the necessary questions which would’ve given me further red flags.
• I trusted blindly, relying on emotions rather than facts.
• I wasn’t happy, my inner man was sending me signals yet I believed someone else instead.

I believed the promises of friends, family, and colleagues without stopping to assess whether their offers were realistic—or whether they even had the ability to deliver. I ignored the warning signs because I wanted to believe them. I wanted to make them happy, even when their happiness came at my expense.

And the biggest mistake? I ignored my intuition.

In every instance, my gut told me something wasn’t right. But I silenced that voice because walking away felt too hard. I am a person of my word, and so it was hard for me to go back and say, “I changed my mind”. Trusting yourself is often the hardest step to take. Your gut will tell you to leave when you desperately want to stay. It’ll make you the “bad guy” in someone else’s story because you didn’t give them what they wanted. But listening to your intuition? It’s the one thing that can save you from heartache.

Perspective is everything

When I realized I played a part in being scammed, it didn’t make the losses less painful, it made it easier to write off. But it gave me something invaluable—a chance to do better. To take responsibility, set boundaries, and trust my instincts.

Whilst there is no guarantee that I won’t be scammed again, I do know that I am better equipped and if I ever get scammed again, it’ll be on me. But this time, I know better. Knowing better means I can protect myself. I know this time that even if I’ve agreed to something that I have the right to change my mind based on new information.  Perspective doesn’t erase the past, but it can shape the future.